Change yourself first in order to change the others; develop your personality.
Many of us try to change the atmosphere around, whether it is the workplace, home, or other place of reunion.
However workplace is the most place affected by the power of change, orders (commands) and communications, due to the inter relations between co-workers and all level of employees.
The aspect of changing the others might be seen in many cases and reactions, where most of those people (unchangeable people) want the others to change and do what they (the unchangeable) think it is right.
This image is very clear with most of the leaders or managers, despites this treatment (to start with yourself first) is one of the managerial characters or traits.
It is not matter of imposing orders, and it is not matter of shame or devaluation, if you are a good manager or leader you need to know how to start to deal with your employees or co-workers, so by starting with yourself first, is the first path “to get the key to get access to the others”.
In addition it is not easy for many of us to start changing ourselves first, but this is the fact and the truth; you might be wrong so you need to correct yourself first, also you cannot fully change the others so you need to meet them in half way.
Also don’t forget that the others are watching you, and watching your reactions especially when you are a manager or leader. Your reaction, personality (confidence, point of view, dress…), Charisma, presence, speech and opinions are all under watch and criticism, so it is better to show wisdom and experience when you manage or you lead.
Hence, I’ll list some tips that might help you to change yourself (if you are mistaken) in order to change the others:
1st. Keep in your mind that we all do mistakes, and by correcting them is the appropriate way to show professionalism.
2nd. When you ask the others to change, make sure you convince them with the correct way; it is not matter of “just do it”.
3rd. When you negotiate (speak) the others make sure you listen to them; Do not keep talking and explaining.
4th. Do not fight or get angry just because of matter of opinions or points of views; stay calm and confident.
5th. When you are trying to convince the others, do not explain in the way you like or you understand; you need to lay ideas in the way they understand it.
6th. Do not ask them to do something and you know it is wrong or you cannot do it; if you cannot so they cannot too!
7th. If you know that you are mistaken, just admit it and correct your way first!
However and in order to change the other and accept their opinions, we should develop and improve our personality, and to do so we should train ourselves and build our personalities for better.
Therefore I’ll list briefly some few tips that help to develop personality:
1. Handshake etiquette: A good handshake can make or break your first impression. A proper handshake is inevitable for having a great personality.
2. Emotional mastery: It is very important to control yourself especially in the difficult situations and in case of failure. Suppose you get fired from your job and feel really depressed and hopeless. You press a button and you feel at peace again, enthusiastic about the opportunity to find a better job. Suppose you fail a subject. Press a button and your feeling of rejection and shame vanishes, replaced by peace and a determination to succeed next time. Suppose someone ridiculed you. You press a button and you are back to feeling calm, cool and confident.
3. Have the skills to be the right leader and the good manager. Train yourself and take the necessary courses and training. Have the skills and the knowledge to lead and manage.
4. Boost your self-confidence: Self-confidence is probably one of the biggest gifts you can ever give yourself. Why? Because people like confident people. People trust confident people. People are attracted to confident people. Confident people get things done. Confident people don’t let their fears stop them. Confident people do not need to bully their way through life – they respect themselves and others.
5. Personal magnetism: Some people are like magnets. The moment they enter a room, they radiate presence. They ooze confidence, warmth, fearlessness, trustworthiness and charm. They have truly magnetic personalities. So be one of them!
6. Empower ourselves: When we are empowered, we are no longer insecure or defensive – we take charge of life and get the most out of it.
7. Anger management: Anger is one of the top issues faced by mankind as a whole today. An inability to control anger can cause serious damage in our family life, work life and social life. We also often feel guilty after our bursts of anger, leading to a reduced sense of self-esteem.
So you need to control your anger, because most of the time is unnecessary, and it devaluate our personality.
At the end, always remember that you are human being too, and you do mistakes too, and you are entitled to help, lead and guide people and not to offend them or insult; You never know how people react!
***اذا أكرمت الكريم ملكته واذا أكرمت اللئيم تمردا ***
اعمل لدنياك كأنك تعيش أبدا،واعمل لآخرتك كأنك تموت غدا